Shoppers at Walmart had to put up with something much worse last week than the continuous Christmas jingles often piping at stores this time of year. Two hours of my ringing bells as part of the Salvation Army Kettle campaign. I’ve helped out for more than a few years now, and I am amazed at the generosity of individuals — five-year-old giving quarters to older folks slipping the $20. It might have been to stop me from ringing. I have the attention span of a cat on acid and I quickly got a little bored on what was a relatively slow evening. I tried ringing out my favourite tunes to kill time and knew I had issues when my attempt at Cinnamon Girl sounded eerily like Jingle Bells. But this only went on for two hours. The very friendly greeter was a nervous wreck by the time I was done. Bell-ringing is key. One of my shticks is to let small children ring the bell, telling them I would dance if they did so. A few years back, a mom went shopping, the kid kept ringing and I was dancing faster than an extra in Saturday Night Fever. I was exhausted. Another shtick is to give away candy canes like there is no tomorrow. Yep, I take Salvation Army-bought candy canes give them away for free and I pretend I’m the hero. Meanwhile mom and dad put up with a peppermint buzzed kid for hours. It’s all part of the fun in helping a great cause. I plan to go back, maybe even throw in a sawbuck or two. Just don’t make me dance.
