Okay, I seriously cannot take it anymore.
I have to check in the mirror anytime I sneeze or blow my nose to ensure a goober did not get caught in its furry filter.
After I eat I am constantly wiping my face with a napkin, never convinced there are not remnants of my dinner caught in my hairy web.
I cannot even drink water without it dribbling down my chin or toweling off my face afterwards because it is all wet. I have had to resort to using a straw so I do not embarrass myself at the table.
It is like I am having to re-learn how to eat.
It also gets caught in the zipper of my jacket and it is itchy.
To be honest it is bizarre just typing away writing my column glancing down at the keyboard and catching a glimpse of a fuzzy red caterpillar perched upon my lip. I have never seen anything there before.
I understand the Movember movement was to raise awareness and money for prostate cancer research which I agree is a worthwhile cause — especially given the fact I recently turned 40.
However, I do not think I will go through this pain again next year and I am sure my wife could not be more pleased.
I cannot help but wonder how some of the greats have kept their moustaches for so long. How has Tom Selleck remained ridiculously cool? How has Jim “Bearcat” Murray stayed so classy and good lookin’ and not shaved off his signature stache?
I barely survived a month — and I am not exaggerating when I say barely — so I cannot fathom how the likes of Mayor Bill Robertson has kept his signature staches for decades.
I am sure it is like a new T-shirt: at first it is starchy and stiff, but after a few years it is too comfortable to throw away no matter how scraggly and grey it starts to look.
Perhaps that is my wife’s fear. She is constantly hounding me to get rid of my favourite old T-shirts, but I just can’t do it, they are too cozy. Perhaps she is concerned I will become too comfortable with my new look.
Seriously, I have had some people say the stache looks good, but sorry folks, at midnight tonight (Nov. 30) I will be shaving this thing off.
You need not worry my dear, this look is not going to stay. My ratty Star Wars T-shirt, however, will be with you — always.
Nope, next year I will be more than happy to support Movember, but it will be with cash not a stache.
Thanks to everyone who supported the Greatwest Mo Grow and make sure you go or facebook page and website (www.westernwheel.com) to vote for who had the best stache, you could win tickets to an upcoming Oiler game.
