One of my favourite (and simultaneously least favourite) parts of life, is getting to interact with the people I like to refer to as: buttholes — jerks.
Jerks are such an important part of the self-development process. They highlight all the areas in that we lack. If you have trouble drawing boundaries – no problem! A jerk will come a take advantage of you until you figure it out.
You struggle with being a constant people-pleaser? You will eventually come across the forever un-pleaseable jerk.
Doesn’t matter what the goal of your personal journey into self discovery; overcoming your issues with confrontation, temper, drama, perfectionism, your value and/or self worth. There’s a jerk for that.
Of course I didn’t always see it this way.
I went through a stretch of disliking, and in some cases, loathing these people for a period of time. I would relive and replay all the ways they had wronged me, hurt me or taken advantage of me. I dwelled on it, pouted, held grudges, and bitter resentments. Eventually that got kind of boring so I decided to reflect on their impact instead.
I was able to take away valuable and insightful lessons that helped me to understand myself and the world a little bit better. And even if in most cases I learned a little too late, at least I still learned.
In taking the time to to reflect on these experiences in an objective manner, I got to pull out all some new skillsets they left me with. Many of my own experiences it most often was learning to honour my value, draw boundaries, have more self-respecrt, and get clear on my beliefs and values.
If you get really keen on being objective, reflective and learning; you can also take away how you, yourself were a jerk. I am fully aware of the expert level jerk I have been in certain circumstances (none of which will be listed today, because I know you think I’m perfect and I would hate to disillusion you).
I also see many miscommunications that have happened, and how things sort of got muttled, and therefore people got hurt unnecessarily. But hey, we’re all a little tougher now with a better sense of humour. Right? Or perhaps, the less desirable outcome, in which we’re all a little more jaded with a bitter sense of humour. Either way.
Each of my experiences with these jerks (and my being the jerk) has helped my get one step closer to understanding the person that I want to be in this world; and has also given me a chance to be extra grateful for the supportive champions that are always on my side.
So thank you, jerks. You are the reasons I have such a rich and meaningful human experience. You have helped motivate me to step back and evaluate myself and acknowledge my various strengths and the I’m-working-on-them parts. And without the contrasting experiences of your jerk-ism I may never have been able to fully appreciate the amazing people in my life.
Thanks. I only hope I was able to do the same for you.