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Column: The paradox of choice

Rhea Jones' monthly column Dear Mom and Dad
Rhea Jones 002

We live in a world with endless choices.

We can choose everything from the big decisions like where we're going to live, what we're going to do, who we’re going to do it with, to the small choices like what we're going to have for dinner tonight, or what show we are going to watch on Netflix. Every day when we wake up we get to make choices that will either move us towards or away from where we want to be.

So if we have the choice to do pretty much anything we want, why doesn’t everyone wake up and work out, and get all their work done and go on crazy adventures with their friends? Why do we choose to spend our time on our phones, watching TV, or not doing much of anything at all? The reason for this is the paradox of choice.

The amount of options we have to choose from and the pressure to make the right decision can sometimes become so overwhelming that we end up not making any decisions at all. This creates a paradox where we have the freedom to do anything we want and yet somehow we end up doing nothing at all.

The pressure to always make the best decision often causes people to be unsatisfied with the choices that they do make. Even if they are good choices people often over-speculate because they will never be certain how things would've turned out if they made a different decision.

Let’s use ice cream for example. If you go to a store with only three flavours, it will be easy for you to choose what flavour you want and you will enjoy your ice cream knowing you made the right decision.

However, if you go to an ice cream shop with hundreds of flavours, you will never know which one is the best, making it hard to make a decision. Even if the flavour you pick is really good, you will still be stuck wondering if you would have enjoyed a different one more.

While ice cream is a silly example the same logic applies to almost all aspects of our lives.

“Would I have been happier if I married someone else?”

“Would I be richer if I chose a different career?”

“What if I had done something else instead?”

All these what if’s and what could have been will not change your current situation and therefore only serve to distract you from the present.

You cannot change the decisions you made in the past so do not let them haunt you and instead focus on what decisions you will make next.

We have to trust that sometimes life brings certain things into our lives for a reason whether it be a blessing or a lesson and that not everything is in our control like we like to think it is. In saying this, do not let fear and in-decision control your life and stop you from doing things you are meant to do. After all, no decision is a decision in itself.

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