My dad said something to me a long time ago… and I’m hoping I can reiterate it gracefully.
He said that it’s easy for us to stand in integrity, or to have our morals and values chiseled out when we are surrounded by ideal circumstances and a stable environment. But it’s not a testament to how integral we are.
It isn’t until we find ourselves in a challenging space, that we truly have an opportunity to show up in integrity. It when our morals are tested, and we get the chance to make decisions, choices, use words and interactions - that we can see how committed we are to our integrity and our true values.
This year has been challenging. And I hope that we all get to walk out of this experience having gotten to know ourselves better. Perhaps it’s been an opportunity to see some different aspects of ourselves.
Maybe we noticed that our ability to be kind has more limitations than we thought. That when someone shares a different opinion - that we are now unable to show them our kindness or compassion. Or maybe it’s the opposite - that we found reasons to be connected to others for the sake of the greater good, despite opinions that could divide us.
I have an unshakable gratitude for the people around me that have helped me to clarify my own stance. That have leaned into and over my boundaries so I could realize the gaps in my own belief systems and amend them or change them. I am grateful for the people that choose to love me despite our differing opinions. I am grateful for the people in my life that put love first - and everything else second.
I know that we’re all struggling right now. That we’re tapped out, exhausted, frustrated, sad, and even at times feeling hopeless. But I also know that despite our challenges, we have the ability to prioritize kindness.
That we can draw from within ourselves to share our opinions without the expectation of someone changing theirs. That we can work to communicate for the sake of connection and understanding, as opposed to the desire to be right, or superior.
Integrity is important because of our commitment to self. Because we are the ones that live with our words and actions - forever; or at least until we cease to exist in this fleshy avatar.
I think a lot of us can justify that our actions are appropriate or called for in particular moments. But by accepting these justifications will result in cognitive dissonance and a state of subtle inner-turmoil. We can’t truly align with ourselves if we only adhere to our integrity in conditions and environments where it is easy or convenient to do so.
It’s not possible to be conditionally integral. There’s no situation that justifies an action or that we can write off as being “out of character”. We need to take accountability and ownership of these moments - even accidental moments, or lapses in judgment (which will inevitably occur because humaning is hard). Accountability is the pathway to peace, connection, and unity.
Thank you for your kindness, and for prioritizing your integrity. Thank you for committing to yourself and your state of inner-peace when you choose to peaceful and kindly interact with people and situations that challenge you. Thank you for your resilience and continuing to show up, even when there are mountains in your path.
