Today is a day I think of my mom. And of Elvis.
My mom passed in 2023, so this will be the first Jan. 10 I will not be able to wish her a happy birthday, although in recent years, as dementia took greater hold, she didn’t realize it was her birthday, nor how old she was turning.
On this day each year, the kids would gather at her care home to throw a party, and every so often during the proceedings, she would ask what we were celebrating. When we told her it was her birthday, she would immediately light up, which in a way created a surprise party every 10 minutes. Who says there aren’t good times on the dementia journey!
At a couple of those parties, we brought in a special guest that made her swoon. You see, I worked with a reporter who not only dabbled as an Elvis tribute artist, but also ran with a gang of jumpsuit-wearing performers, including a particularly accomplished member named Eli ‘Tigerman’ Williams who was gracious enough to come out to the care home to perform.
He has won multiple Elvis festivals, including competitions in Hawaii and California, and had a two-year residency in Tennessee, so when it comes to paying tribute to The King, Eli does it exceptionally well.
Needless to say, mom thought Eli was the genuine article, and by that I mean she believed Elvis was standing in front of her in the flesh. Her mind couldn’t compute that he had passed away in 1977 or even if he hadn’t, how a hard-living rock star in his 80s could somehow look like he was still 30, and she also had trouble reconciling the notion that Elvis had given up the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas in favour of performing in random Canadian care homes.
Call it another perk of dementia but a late rock n’ roll superstar singing for her birthday made perfect sense to her. And when Eli got down on one knee and serenaded her with Can’t Help Falling In Love, she was in heaven. Her voice could only get so loud at that stage of her life, but with everything she had, she proclaimed her love for him multiple times. She later told me Elvis had asked her to marry him.
Normally this wouldn’t bother me, but by this time in her dementia journey she often referred to me as her husband, so I thought it was a little galling that she would declare her love for another man while I was sitting right there. Mind you, if I was going to be cheated on, I guess Elvis as the other man makes a pretty good story.
They call it a journey because dementia is very much that, a long road, in this case one that featured countless twists and turns over the course of more than a dozen years. Unfortunately, that journey has ended and there will be no birthday party this year, but there are many memories, including that time when Elvis either almost became my stepdad or broke up my marriage.
