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Column: Acknowledging my privilege

I have been doing my best lately to reflect and acknowledge the privileges that I have that are based solely on the colour of my skin.
Tanya Ryan 2
Tanya Ryan, Light Side Up

I have been doing my best lately to reflect and acknowledge the privileges that I have that are based solely on the colour of my skin.

And while a comprehensive list would take much more than the 500 words I am limited to here; there’s an aspect of my privilege that stands out to me the most at this time.

I have recently given birth to a little boy.

He is a little white boy that will grow into a young white man, and eventually into a middle-aged white man. The world has been built to accommodate him. Our society has created limitless opportunities just for him. Over the years to come, it will be my job to maintain enough awareness to make this known to him. To make him aware of the blessings he has simply because his soul decided to be born by two white parents.

I will have a lot to teach my son about his privileges, conveniences, and the ease he will experience simply for his skin colour. And while I’m sure that he will still have some sort of experience with cruelty, judgement, or even prejudice… my privilege as his white mother, is that I will never have to teach him how to behave when he’s pulled over by a police officer.

I will not have to explain to him how to select his language carefully, and how to appear non-threatening and non-combative. I will not need to explain how to manage his emotions and reactions when faced with the cruelty of racial slurs. I will not worry for his mortality in the same way that so many women of colour worry for their sons.

There are so many concerns, worries, and anxieties that I will never have to experience or even think about solely because I am a white mother of a white boy. Isn’t that crazy? I’m spared so much mental anguish purely because I am fair-skinned.

The impact of stress is widely known; we are familiar with the effects of anxiety, panic, and other mental health challenges… I was born into a white family, there are stresses I will not be burdened with because of it. It makes me appreciate the undeniable resilience of black women and mothers.

We’re each the hero of our own storybook, and we’re not comfortable highlighting the ease or privilege we’ve had - perhaps thinking that this belittles obstacles we may have overcome. It means we have to re-evaluate our self-made hero status. And that’s uncomfortable to say the least.

It’s important for us to understand that no matter the challenges we have faced and overcome in our own lifetime; no matter how valid. There are certain things we’ve never, and will never have to face or address simply because we were born with fair skin.

I may never fully comprehend or appreciate the complete list of advantages I have as a white person - but there are many I am coming to recognize.

I am grateful to have the opportunity to acknowledge them; and I’m grateful for the opportunity to hold reverence for others that have overcome trials I have not faced. #BLM

Tanya Ryan is a local singer/songwriter with an appetite for life and learning. #LightSideUp is for the candid exploration of everyday life, events, emotions, and stories with the intention of finding the lessons and teachings buried in the normalcy of daily living.

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