The song coming over the PA system as I approached the toe-line to throw a dart at the Okotoks Elks Hall might have said it all — David Lee Roth of Van Halen singing, “I found the simple life, ain’t so simple...” from “Running With The Devil”.
I took on Okotoks Elk Roy Andreason in a game of 501 May 15. Andreason and six other Okotoks Elks will be part of Team Alberta when the local service club hosts the Canadian Elks Darts Championships May 23-26,
“You are right-handed, so put your right-foot on the line and raise the dart to in front of your eyes,” Andreason said. “I like to look right down the the dart to my target.”
Piece of cake, this will be simple, however, I was still worried. I had been told not to miss the board.
“We just painted the walls — you have to repaint it if you miss,” Elk member Sam Young had told me.
My first shot I went for broke and aimed high towards the 20 at the top of the board. If I had lobbed my first dart any higher, they would have called me out on the infield-fly rule. Aimed for 20, settled for three at the bottom.
Meanwhile, Andreason is racking up points. His total from 501 was dropping quicker than the Greek economy. After my initial opening of 38, I had pretty well flat-lined, just nickel and diming my way to zero.
It got so bad we changed the game to 301 rather than 501 to speed things up.
Andreason whittled his score down to less than 170 — the number at which a person can start to figure out how to go out in order to end the game. The game ends when somebody doubles out to reach the magical zero. For example, if they have 40 points remaining, a double 20 (the outer circle) ends the game.
He gets down to 86 and starts doing math like Einstein.
“You get pretty good at math after a while,” Andreason said. “I want to hit triple 18 and then double 16 and I will be out.”
He misses and ends up with 20 remaining.
I somehow get below 170 and I am using pen, paper and slide rule to figure out how to double out. Mercifully, someone shows me a mat on the floor which has inscribed on it all the ways to double out from 170 and below on three darts.
It didn’t help. The only way I was going to get a double was to go to the bar and order one.
Just prior to Andreason throwing his next dart someone walks up and tells him: “C’mon let’s put an end to this thing.”
I felt like a 21-year-old cat going to its final trip to the vet.
He then hit a double 10 to end the game.
I felt I did pretty well actually — hey Andreason is playing in the national championships after all, and all my shots hit the dartboard.
I will be back, but I’m not taking chances.
I will let someone else ruin the wall first before I return to the lounge at the Elks Hall in Okotoks.
