Bullying can make the challenges of raising a special needs child even greater.
“I have yet to meet a family, from the ones that we serve, that hasn’t experienced bullying of their child,” said Kathy Thornhill, president of Inclusion Foothills. “They (special needs children) are very vulnerable, very easy targets and they are the least able to defend themselves.”
Inclusion Foothills provides advocacy for individuals with pan-disabilities and to their families/ guardians.
Thornhill’s 16-year-old son Austin is autistic and he has been bullied in the past, including an incident in 2013 which still affects him and the family.
Austin was in Grade 2 attending Spitzee School in High River in 2013, when he was bullied by a Grade 5 girl.
“She was encouraging Austin to use bad language to act out in inappropriate ways on the playground – to set him up to get in trouble,” Thornhill said.
Austin had some language delays and didn’t quite understand the repercussions of his actions, she explained.
“His behaviour told me that he was really stressed about something,” Thornhill said. “I was able to get enough information that there was another child bullying him on the playground and encouraging him to bully others.”
She credits then Spitzee principal Kevin Newman for his handling of the situation.
“Usually when kids bully others it is because they feel powerless in their own world,” Thornhill said. “He took it from that approach. To not only help the little girl stop that behaviour, but to give her the supports that she needed as well.
“He was remarkable.”
Newman, who lives in Okotoks, later became principal of Dr. Morris Gibson School and is presently the director of inclusive learning for Foothills School Division.
Austin, who now lives in Okotoks, is in Grade 10 and is on track to attend university.
But he still carries the trauma of being bullied.
“It took about six years before we found the right therapies to help him,” Thornhill said. “The impact was profound – we’re talking anxious and very depressed behaviour, negative self-talk.
“It has just been the last year in which Austin has seen his inherent value as a human... He talked about the girl who bullied him for about six years... I don’t think bullies have, in that moment, understanding of the impact they have on people.”
She said over time the Thornhill family was able to explain to Austin he was not at fault.
“We told him that this little girl acted out in really inappropriate ways,” Thornhill said. “She hurt you, but it’s not your fault. She had repercussions and she got help.”
The Thornhills were able to get help from Inclusion Foothills to assist with the difficulties of raising a special needs child.
“Because of them, we got connected with a behavioural therapist, a behaviour aide and a psychologist,” Thornhill said. “And of course, we have our other support people like our pediatrician – a remarkable team.
“I’ve watched huge social and emotional growth with Austin in the last year... It’s really quite remarkable the self-esteem, the self-respect and the resiliency that is just starting to blossom. It could have gone very differently.”
Inclusion Foothills' head office is in High River, however it serves the entire Foothills including Okotoks, Black Diamond and Turner Valley.
Thornhill was so impressed with the organization, she joined its board and has been president for the past four years.
Inclusion Foothills does not target bullying specifically, but it does help families with resiliency and how parents can advocate for their child and other programs.
It will direct parents in how to get assistance.
Thornhill added in regards to bullying it is important for everyone to take notice.
“What children at risk for bullying need the most is for the adults in their lives to model the behaviour they want to see,” she said. “Teach them about diversity, about acceptance – be the change you want to see.
“And if you see something, say something. Step in and be a friend to the person being bullied.
“The impact of having someone stand-up for you can last a lifetime.”
