For 16 years, Okotoks resident Tannis Andrejcin endured a common law relationship that was both physically and emotionally abusive.
Eventually, Andrejcin refused to let herself remain a victim.
“There was still that little fire inside of me that said I was still something,” said Andrejcin. “As long as it took, there was no holding me back anymore and I got out.”
The final push for her to leave the relationship was her love for her three children, she said.
“You always hope to have the best for your kids, and you want that idealistic family situation for them,” she explained. “So you put yourself on the backburner for too long and start to dismiss and lose who you are.
“But they couldn’t live like that forever, and I didn’t want them to grow up thinking that was the norm.”
Taking her children with her, then aged eight, 10 and 12, Andrejcin packed up and left the relationship and sought solace in emergency shelters.
Finally, they moved to Okotoks and she went back to working full-time as a paralegal.
“It was really tough essentially starting over with nothing,” she said. “No income, no house, no car.
“But the love of your kids will take you through anything. Everything I did was for my kids, to give them a better situation.”
After five years as a paralegal, Andrejcin decided to attend night school to get her realtor’s licence. Today, she is a real estate professional with Century 21 in Okotoks.
Although she has only been a realtor for four years, she is already making an impact in the industry. In 2010, she was one of the top producers for the brokerage and the fourth best realtor within the Okotoks office.
“That was a big accomplishment for me, because everybody before me has been here for 20 plus years,” she said. “I entered into it when the market was down and without having any sales experience, but I took on the challenge.”
While she has found fulfillment in her life now, Andrejcin said there were certainly challenges along the way, including balancing being a full-time career woman with being a single mom.
“Trying to balance everything is tough,” she said. “It’s always a juggle between your job, your family and everything else.”
Her previous job as a paralegal was incredibly time consuming, she said.
“My kids used to say to me, ‘You’re married to your job, you live there more than you live with us,’” she recalled. “But there are sacrifices you have to make for your kids.”
Today, being an active member of the community is key for Andrejcin.
“It’s important for me to be a part of the heartbeat of a community wherever I live,” she said. “I call myself a volunteer junkie. I don’t have enough time to do everything I would like to do.”
Five years ago, Andrejcin joined the Okotoks Chamber of Commerce. Today, she is one of the chamber’s directors and has been vice-president for the past two years. She also sits on the Town of Okotoks’ economic development committee, and was recently appointed committee chair.
In her free time, she has also spoken as a mentor to women in shelters, like the YWCA Sheriff King in Calgary, giving encouragement and advice on how to rise above abusive relationships. She said she hopes she can use her troublesome past to help others in their times of need.
While she would never want to the relive the past, Andrejcin said she has learned some important life lessons from the experience.
“I’ve learned to trust myself and have the confidence that I can do things,” she said. “Just go with your heart and never say no to yourself. I’ve learned to not let anyone else hold you back.”
For women currently in abusive relationships, Andrejcin has some words of advice.
“Things will get better,” she said. “Today may be the ugliest grey day, but tomorrow, you have to keep the faith. Trust that what you want from life, you can get.”
