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Foothills moms learn from autistic children

Moms reflect on their journeys with young autistic children during World Autism Month

While their day-to-day lives are not without challenges, parents of autistic children celebrate what makes their babies unique and the lessons they’ve learned together.

“We always say he’s different, not less,” said Rayelle Robinson, who’s son Owen just turned four and was diagnosed with autism last June.

April is World Autism Month.

As a mom of six, Robinson knew the milestones to watch for and when her third son wasn’t showing any hint of speaking by 18 months of age, she began asking questions.

Owen would become angry and frustrated, yelling and screaming because he couldn’t communicate, she said.

“Come age three, when he still hadn’t said two words, now we were in the danger zone,” said Robinson. “He was diagnosed in June.”

She said having an official diagnosis brought some relief because they were able to arrange for supports, though they’ve been on a waitlist for months due to COVID and a back-up with speech pathologists and occupational therapists.

While they wait for therapists to be available, she said the family is doing what it can at home and Owen has started speaking more.

He’s high-functioning, she said, diagnosed at Level 1 on the autism spectrum.

“They said if Asperger’s was still around he would have actually been diagnosed with Asperger’s, but since they took that away and put it in the spectrum, he was diagnosed with autism,” said Robinson.

There is still some learning going on, like recognizing the difference between playing and punching siblings, she said.

The family is also adjusting to Owen’s likes and dislikes – such as his contempt for the colour green.

“He does not like anything green, whether it’s food, candy, clothing,” said Robinson. “It’s a struggle, especially when it comes to vegetables. I have to make smoothies and trick him that way.”

Though he has only been diagnosed for a few months, Robinson said her autistic son has already taught her valuable life lessons.

“He sees the world so differently than we do,” said Robinson. “The littlest things will be so amazing to him, and for you and I, it’s just an everyday thing. He’s taught me to have a different perspective.”

Tania Brouwer, whose son Jace is seven, said patience is the biggest lesson she’s learned.

Jace was diagnosed with autism when he was three years old, at the same time his younger sister was born.

“I was very anxious because I didn’t know what I was doing, I was stressed out, I had a newborn at the same time,” said Brouwer. “I was very overwhelmed. I was upset because I thought it was something I did.”

It took time to realize his autism was nobody’s fault, it was part of who Jace was.

The family clued in when he was two; he had been saying some words but suddenly stopped talking, began banging his head and stimming (flapping his hands) whenever he heard music.

While he used to watch shows on Disney Junior or DVDs, he suddenly wanted to only watch certain chapters or clips on repeat and then fast-forward to the credits and see them all the way through.

“He’s seven and we’ve never seen a full movie at home,” said Brouwer.

Videos of his behaviour were shown to the family’s doctor when he was three, and she didn’t hesitate to refer him to a pediatrician. That’s when things got a little difficult to navigate.

“They don’t really help you with where to go from there,” said Brouwer.

She managed to get him into early intervention programs at age three and within two months with his aide he began speaking again.

Jace now attends Cayley School, where Brouwer said he thrives because of small class sizes and understanding teachers, along with a team that works with him both at school and home.

He still can’t stand crowds, music, loud noises, or things like snapping or humming, but reacts better to the stimulus than he used to, she said.

The seven-year-old is obsessed with movies, and while he doesn’t watch them through he enjoys the logos and recreating them on his computer, or coming up with unique designs, she said.

There are certain foods he will eat, and while they’re trying to integrate new items into his diet sometimes it’s not worth the fight, said Brouwer.

“It’s hard,” she said. “He didn’t come with a manual when he was diagnosed.

“There are days that definitely aren’t easy, but right now we’re having more magical and great days than the hard days.”

One thing they know Jace doesn’t like is numbers.

It’s the opposite for Danielle Slamko’s son, Liam, who is obsessed with them.

“He really loves numbers, anything to do with numbers is his ideal thing,” said Slamko.

Liam is eight years old, and was diagnosed with autism when he was four.

He had been advanced as a baby, exceeding development milestones including speaking a few words, but once he turned two the progress stopped.

“He stopped talking, he stopped really doing anything other than walking,” said Slamko. “Everything was grunting and pointing and you could just tell something was different.”

Their family doctor referred Liam to a pediatrician, who sent him for assessment.

He was still non-verbal at age four and receiving an official diagnosis of autism was difficult for Slamko, who was a young mom to begin with, having welcomed Liam at 19.

“I had a lot of anxiety. It was scary,” she said. “It was something I knew was going to change the rest of our life. It looked like a big mountain we were going to have to climb.”

She said the supports she’s found in the community and through school have made the journey a little easier.

Liam attends Dr. Morris Gibson School, where he has a full-time educational assistant.

Over the years he’s learned to deal with some of his challenges and now talks non-stop, but still can’t handle change very well, said Slamko.

He needs to take breaks throughout the day, and the school has been very accommodating, she said.

Autism is not easy, but Slamko said Liam has taught her how to take life one day at a time, to be patient, and to go with the flow.

“Liam is the light of my life,” she said. “I’ve learned so much from this kid, it’s not even funny.

“It’s a journey and I’m glad that he chose me to be his mother.”

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